weedjoke420:

one time in 7th grade i was having unbearable intestinal pain like i could not move at all it hurt so bad so i went to the nurse and she sent me home and the second i got home i farted for legitimately 45 seconds and all of the pain disappeared

245,674 notes
I’ve discovered there’s a lot you can do inside haunted houses.

fictionalfeather:

For example, you can:

  • be in a shampoo commercial

image

  • start a boy band:

image

  • spot some choice booty:

image

  • break into song:

image

  • see some people in frankly offensive outfits:

image

  • attend a metal show:

image

  • listen to some sick jams:

image

  • discover zombieism:

image

  • sample some tasty snacks:

image

  • watch someone get burned bad:

image

  • find something you really like:

image

  • find something you really, really like:

image

  • find something you REALLY REALLY LIKE:

image

  • and wonder if you left the stove on:

image

150,763 notes

embarrassmental:

narcotic:

what if people named their kids when they turn 18 so the kid has a name that fits its personality

image

217,581 notes


16,804 notes

enochianwarbirds:

oversized hoodies

you think they’re clothes

but they’re actually wearable hugs

125,845 notes

12,349 notes

radsturbate:

marry someone who has a different favorite cereal than u so they wont eat all of urs

199,154 notes

terrakion:

i hope he finds his berries

318,989 notes




jericho-theprinceofspace:

princess-caboose:

absolutelydonut:

*shows up to my date in halo armor*

same

That’s just proper date etiquette.

71 notes

“There is no heaven or hell. No matter what you do while you’re alive. Everybody goes to the same place once you die. Death is Equal”

1,801 notes

theme made by Max davis